was still in school. We all knew him to be a womanizer. He
liked all kinds of women, young, old, fat, thin, tall, and short.
Every girl in the department tried as much as possible not to
get noticed by him. That means doing your assignment with
others and coming to his classes on time so you don’t have
to beg him to enter his class.
One day, (I am sure it was because I didn’t pray that
morning, it gave devil the opportunity to deal with me.) It
started with waking up late for classes that day. When I
realized that it was this lecturer’s class we had, I just
decided that I would miss the class. Only for my friend to
ping me that they were registering the man’s course. I
quickly dressed up wore my deeper life gown, even white
powder I didn’t rub that day and ran to class. By the time I
got to the department, the man had already locked the door
and took attendance. That was when I knew my village
people swore for me that day.
I waited till he finished teaching and joined the other late
comers to go to his office to beg him. Did I tell you that our
lecturers each had their own office? Well furnished o! This
particular lecturer even had extra seats and curtains. May
be he normally held prayer sections in his office, who
I had already finished planning the lie I will tell the man, how
I was very sick and just came from the school medical
center. Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I
already started with not praying now am about lie).
We reached the man’s office and started begging him to
please just let us register the course even if we will miss the
attendance. The man acted like we were asking Buhari to
legalize gay marriage. I made sure I was very invincible in
the back of the crowd.
The next thing I heard was “hey you at the back on glasses,
Shoo! I joined others to turn to see who he was talking to
even though I knew that it was the wall I was turning to look
at. One over-sabi girl just shouted my name “Chidinma, he
is talking to you o” I just used my eyes to dissect the girl. I
came closer and he gave me money and some paper to
photocopy for him. In my mind I was hoping that he will
allow me to register after going for the errands.
I ran better than Usain Bolt that day, did the photocopy and
came back. As I was getting closer to his office I noticed
that my classmates were no longer there. I became sacred.
I quietly knocked on his door and he asked me to come in.
as I stepped in he asked me to close the door. Ah! Close
door ke? I just murmured the devil is a liar. I banged the
door but made sure it wasn’t locked. I moved closer to him
and gave him the documents.
He now asked me my name I quickly shouted the name my
grandma gave me (I normally get angry when my siblings
called me the name) “sir, my name is Erinma”
The next thing he asked me was “so who is eating this bush
meat you carrying around?”
I quickly checked if I had mistakenly carried someone’s
bush meat when I went to do photocopy only to see I was
carrying only my bag.
“Sir, it’s just my hand bag am carrying o; there is no bush
“So you don’t know what I mean? You are trying to form for
“No o sir I honestly don’t know.”
Ok, then, who is enjoying this bush meat you are carrying in
front of you. Which of the guys?
Oh! He was talking about breasties.
I suddenly became dumb. And started calling on my
ancestors and God at the same time to give me the wisdom
he gave Solomon in the bible so I can I get out of this
“Sir nobody o”
“Hmm, so when will you give me to enjoy?”
In my mind I was calculating my fainting skills incase
“Sir…. Sir” I suddenly became a stamarer.
I was seriously praying and promising God to even become
a reverend sister if I can get out from here.
It was like God or my ancestors’ sef saw that I had suffered
enough and decided to intervene.
He then asked me “where are you from”
“Enugu” I replied
“Where in Enugu?”
Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very well
I shouted “Yes sir o!, they are very good at it. In fact, both
my paternal and maternal grandparents are well known
native doctors in the village. Even my dad was also one but
recently converted. See the lies jumping from my mouth like
I was reciting National Anthem.
“Hmmm, serious?” he asked looking almost sacred
“Yes sir, you can ask around” I replied
He immediately brought out the registration booklet and told
me to find my name and sign across it and leave his office
I quickly took the book, signed my name and ran away.
Since then the man doesn’t even answer my greeting and I
made sure I escaped his wahala till I graduated.
By: chidinma igbokweuche